(Apologies a long rambling post)
At the beginning of 2011 I would never have thought that my life would be so different, with lots of highs and lows. I've tried my best to over come some the lows - but this time of the year it is very difficult - not going into too much detail on here - but it has been hard these past few weeks.
So here are a few things that happened to me in 2011 and my thought process to looking forward towards 2012 and how I chose my 'One Little Word" ...
Finally getting my health problems sorted, after years 'making do and trying to get on with it' , I'm on the mend and looking forward to a happier 2012 health wise. Having my Op and the lead up to it, has shown me how I have 'made do' with things, how hard some days/weeks had been just doing the basis of things. Yes, I looked 'OK' I even acted 'OK' but just because someone doesn't have a bandage or plastic on show doesn't mean that they are not hurting inside.
Then after having the Op, I finally woke up to how I have been treated by people over the past few years. It's really easy to 'just go along with things' for an easier life, 'not say things' because their trauma is 'always alot more important than yours' , but why is that, why do people dismiss how you are feeling and what you are going though is relevant compared to theirs. Why do I worry about these things, why do I constantly think about how others see me, how they might react to what I say, why do I think I need them to like me. I don't want to be dismissive of their traumas big or small, but some times, just sometimes, it would have been nice to have them listen to me, and not change the subject back to whats going on in their life, but I'm know its only human nature to do that, but it has been hard, listening to others when I needed them to listen to me.
Well, being house bound for 7 weeks after the Op and having plenty of time to think about these things, I came to realise that some of the people I call 'friends' are no more than 'acquaintances' and once I got my head around that, I'm realised 'I'm OK with it'. I can survive having 'acquaintances' if our paths cross, and it is something that I want to happen, then that's fine, but I will no longer be going out of my way to 'just go along with things' because they want me too. I will endeavour to do what I want more, not what others what me too, what if it doesn't suit them? well, I'll just have to cross that bridge well I get to it.
Giving more time to Jon and James, I sometimes felt that I don't give them as much time as we needed as a family, I'm always going to 'a crop, 'a retreat' or on my computer but over the year things have made me re-assess what I do and how I must cut my time down away from the house a lot.
I don't have to be out every weekend at a crop, or book onto the next retreat, I can just stay at home and enjoy it. I know this is my fault has over the years I've been caught up in the whirl pool of scrapbooking that I've felt that I must do, must go, must see that next big things, but do I really need to? or more so, can I really afford to ? well the answer to both these are 'No' I have a few things booked for this year, but definitely no where has much has I had booked in the previous years. I won't be juggling my family life to fit my hobby, but the other way around.
So onto my scrapbooking, being asked to join the Twisted Sketches DT Team - something that over the past few years I wanted to do for a while is be on a DT team. I love the challenge of this site and it has given me the change to improve my scrapping and make me thing about different ways to scrap.
Then being asked to join the Twisted Cards DT Team - looking forward to starting on this team in the new few weeks. I started crafting as a cardmaker, so it will be nice to get back into card making again.
Then in November being chosen as one of the Runner Up for Scrapbooker of the Year 2011 - yah !!!! I was so chuffed. It came at a time when I personally needed a boost and it was definitely just what I needed. Now this was something that I would not have entered previously, but this past year, life has shown me that its is too short and opportunity will just pass you by if you don't give it a go.
so what in store for 2012
I don't really set myself resolutions because I know they will be broken before the end of January, but I do like to have one or two things to aim for in this coming year. These are just a few of the things I hope I can achieve this year.
* Keep a check on my health
* Enjoy my family life
* practice & master how to crochet
* learn how to use my camera
* get more layouts published
* join another DT Team
* visit New York
* spend time with my girlies
So how I choose my word for 2012
I often look at others and think how wonderful their lives are! how fantastic there homes look! how they have the perfect partner! the perfect kids! the perfect life! I don't think 'why not me' but I do wonder how come they have all this and more! Then when I stop and think, I realise that I have it as well: - a nice home, a loving partner, a fantastic kid, and even though it not perfect, it my life and I should appreciate it more.
So my little word for 2012 is APPRECIATE. I could have had several and it has taken me weeks to decide, but I ended up with APPRECIATE - I hoping it will reminds me to APPRECIATE what I have (family, house, friends), what I can do and what is around me, and be a constraint reminder to me about how to APPRECIATE life in general.
Right, if you have made it to the end of this post, thanks for staying with me and reading my ramblings.
I'll be back in the next few days hopefully with some scrapping, and some new photos from a mini photo shot with Morag.
Thanks for stopping by ...